Archive for: August 22nd 2011

Aug 22, 2011

If

Posted by Daddy on Aug 22, 2011 at 11:00 pm

If I could die 1,000 times in the most horrific ways known, and by doing so I could bring you back to your mother and siblings, I would begin right now, and try my hardest to be done by daybreak.  It would be a great disservice to you, I know, but I’d hope you’d forgive me.

There is one on the way that you will never know on this side of the first death.  He or she will never know you in this realm either.  You can add Sprocket to the long list of in utero monikers of which we’re so fond.  Sprout, Tater, Bumby, Tippy, Weeble,  Bug, and Sprocket.  I wonder how long you’d let yours stick?  I wonder what your name is now.

I miss you and I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you were scared.  I’m sorry for your mother and siblings.  I’m sorry for your grandparents , aunts, uncles, and cousins.  I’m sorry for me.  I have never been haunted by so many memories at once before.  You seem to be just moments away at times.  I see a piece of kinder-art flap in the fan-breeze and I think it’s you getting up from your bed.  I turn the corner at the front of the house and I hear your voice.  I hate missing you.

It might be very hard for a man to lay down his life for his child’s.  I’ll wager that it’s at least 1,000 times harder to live having been denied the chance to make that decision.


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