Posted by Daddy on Jul 26, 2011 at 12:18 pm

Beebleton, you are on my mind every day.

The dissatisfaction I have with my life is exacerbated by my longing to be in Heaven. I want to be free from the grief of missing you, free from debilitating physical pain, and free from work that often costs me far more than it’s worth. I want to see what you see, and meet whom you’ve met. I want you to sit on my lap at the feet of our Creator, learning and worshiping.

Maybe I’ll sit on your lap. Perhaps we’ll all be children there. All I know for sure is that it’s real, you’re there, and I will be some day too.

If my other pains were gone, I’d still be crushed by your absence until we are together again. My hope and strength are strong – they are probably the only strength I have left.

It makes no sense to tell you to be a good boy anymore, so I’ll just tell you that I’ll be one.

Your mother and siblings miss you terribly, but they, like me, will be alright in the end.

Love, Daddy

P.S. It brings me great joy to think about what you might be doing there.

Posted by Mommy on at 11:58 am

I read that Heaven is Real book, It paints a lovely picture of a child’s view of Heaven. I feel so distant from you today. I’m starting to lose the feeling that you were just right here a minute ago and that I could almost reach out and touch you. I remember in the early days I fought against the feeling of getting used to you not being here. Eventually, there is no choice and it happens anyway. God forces/allows us to adapt to the new situation, as painful as it is. It used to feel like a betrayal every time we went somewhere without you. Now I only feel that way sometimes.Although we adapt and continue to function, the pain of missing you does not lessen. We are just learning to live with it. And look forward to the day when we can see you again.

Love, Mommy

Posted by Mommy on at 11:52 am

Oh, my little Weeble! It has been five months now since I last played with you, held you, kissed you. Since you sat next to me and said, “I love you and you love me.” I never tried to imagine what it would feel like to lose one of my children, but if I had, I couldn’t have come close to imagining this kind of pain.
I read a quote the other day, “Describing what it feels like to “miss” a child cannot be done properly. There is a feeling — totally overwhelming — that gnaws and chews at the heart constantly letting us know that things aren’t as they should be. Every thought, every action is colored by this color of blue.” That is exactly how I feel.